


Breaking Point

by Yrindor



Series: Of Cherry Blossoms and Shadows [3]
Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Cutting, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:13:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yrindor/pseuds/Yrindor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The night before Rukia’s execution, Ukitake stops by Byakuya’s office.  Ukitake is far too perceptive for Byakuya’s comfort, and their conversation takes an unexpected turn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breaking Point

**Author's Note:**

> CW for discussion of self-harm.
> 
> All characters belong to Kubo Tite.

It was well after dark when Ukitake paused outside of the Sixth Division offices. He knew the owner of the sole reiatsu on the other side of the door would be less than thrilled to see him, especially after their truncated encounter that afternoon, but there was too much that still needed to be said. Reminding himself again why he had come, he knocked on the door, barely pausing before sliding it open and entering the nearly empty room.

“Ukitake,” Byakuya said coldly, not looking up from his work.

“Byakuya, I’ll ask you one more time, will you really allow Rukia to be executed without a challenge?”

“The law has spoken, and as a captain of the Gotei 13 and the head of the Kuchiki family, I must respect that.”

“Even if she’s your sister?”

“Laws are the foundation of society. They must be upheld. Rukia’s relation to me is irrelevant to – ”

“And her relation to Hisana?”

Byakuya froze. “I beg your pardon?” he said, his reiatsu flaring coldly in warning.

“Will you let Hisana’s sister die so easily?” Ukitake repeated, ignoring Byakuya’s reaction. “You said Rukia’s relation to you doesn’t matter in the face of the law, but what of her relation to Hisana? You already broke the laws of your family twice for Hisana - once when you married her, and a second time when you adopted Rukia. After all that, will you really let Rukia’s death go unchallenged?”

“Who told you?” Byakuya snapped, his reiatsu mirroring his temper.

“No one,” Ukitake began. “It didn’t make sense to us, to Shunsui and I. You will mourn what’s lost, but you’re one to accept the inevitability of loss, not one to try to replace it. Adopting a stranger who resembled Hisana would have been painful to you, not comforting. And to go against your family to do so? There’s only one person you would do that for, and she would never ask you to replace her. It’s a good enough story on the surface, but not for those of us that know you. Once we suspected, it was easy enough for Shunsui and I to access to the entry logs for Rukongai and confirm that Hisana didn’t come through the Senkaimon alone.”

When Byakuya said nothing, Ukitake returned to his earlier question. “I’ll ask you again, Byakuya, are you really willing to stand passively as Rukia dies? I can only speculate, but I assume Hisana asked you to look after Rukia for her. Does Hisana really mean so little to you now? Does your promise to her mean so little that you would break it so easily?”

“Do not dare speak to me of honor and duty, _Ukitake_ Jyūshirō,” Byakuya snapped, spitting Ukitake’s family name as if it were a curse. “This is not merely a matter of family politics. Rukia broke not the protocols of our family but the laws of Soul Society. To intervene now would be to disgrace not only the Kuchiki name but also the entire institution of the Gotei 13. Do not speak of that which you cannot understand,” he said, turning to leave.

Ukitake reached for Byakuya’s wrist, anger flaring in his veins. He was fully prepared to let the other know what he thought of such rigid, limited definitions of honor, but when his fingers brushed Byakuya’s arm, the young captain flinched, then froze immediately when he realized what he had done.

Ukitake’s hand closed around Byakuya’s wrist in an iron grip, and for a long moment, neither moved. Finally, Byakuya submitted and lowered his gaze. He did not move as Ukitake slowly pushed back the sleeve of his shihakusho, revealing two old scars running parallel to a fresh cut. The old captain looked at the scars before him not with the anger or revulsion Byakuya had expected, but with a sad resignation that said such sights were not new to him, nor perhaps, unexpected.

Ukitake ran his fingers lightly along the oldest scar. “Hisana?” he asked quietly.

“No. The night of Hisana’s funeral was the closest I’d ever come, but I made it through that night, and many more that followed. It wasn’t until a year later that I finally gave in. A year later when Rukia had just been adopted into the family, and the elders were beginning to hint at finding a “proper” wife for me, and it was clear that the world had moved on while I was still grieving… And after that night, I swore that I would never be so weak again.”

When Byakuya stopped, Ukitake slowly traced the second, newer, scar, looking up to catch Byakuya’s eyes.

“That one is yours, Ukitake. For the night Kaien died and Rukia came back broken from having the man she loved die upon her blade,” Byakuya said, some of his earlier anger beginning to creep back into his voice. “You are in no place to lecture me about my choices, not when you have let your subordinates die like that.”

Ukitake sighed. “I did learn, Byakuya,” he said softly. “Kaien was not the first subordinate I watched die, nor will he be the last, but he was the first where I chose not to intervene. The first and the last; I swore after his death that I would never again stand by passively while one of mine died.”

He held Byakuya’s gaze for a minute, then looked down and slid his fingers to the edge of the newest cut. “The pain of impossible choices?” he asked.

“Punishment,” Byakuya replied, his voice quiet but with an edge of steel. “Like the monkey who sees the moon, I wanted that which I could not have, and when I reached for it, I fell. I failed to act as was fitting to my position, and in doing so, I disgraced the pride of the Kuchiki clan. This is my atonement.”

Ukitake waited until he had his anger under control before he spoke. He was quickly losing patience with the Kuchiki elders who seemed poised to break their current head with their rigid, unyielding definitions of honor. “You keep bringing up your Kuchiki pride, Byakuya, but in the end, that means nothing. Maybe you will last a century instead of a decade, a millennium instead of a century, but if you continue as you are, Kuchiki or not, you will break.

“In two millennia, I’ve seen too many shinigami who tried to take everything on by themselves. It didn’t matter who they were – captain, unseated officer, noble, commoner – they all broke eventually. It killed most of them, and those who survived were not unscathed.

“You’re a good captain, Byakuya, but you’re not in this alone. There are multiple captains for a reason, the same reason we all have lieutenants. You don’t have to share your entire burden, but this is clearly unsustainable. Having your pride and asking for help are not incompatible.

“The next time you have time alone with Rukia, tell her the true story of what happened with Hisana. She deserves to know.”

“The next time either of us see Rukia will be on Sōkyoku Hill," Byakuya said coldly. "You will be attending the execution, no?”

“It is my duty to be there to support my lieutenant,” Ukitake replied, once again catching Byakuya’s eye before releasing the captain’s arm and turning to leave.

He paused halfway through the door. “We’ve all made our choices, Byakuya. Only tomorrow will tell which ones will be deemed honorable and just,” he said, then slid the door closed behind him, leaving Byakuya alone with his thoughts. He didn’t expect his words to have an immediate effect, but he had planted the seeds for change. He hoped it would be enough. He wasn't willing to lose the captain he had watched grow up either.

**Author's Note:**

> The monkey Byakuya mentions is from the parable of the monkey and the moon. The monkey sees the moon reflected in the surface of a lake, but when it reaches for it, it sinks.
> 
> Comments and feedback are welcome and appreciated.


End file.
